When Night Comes (Analee Marie)
by Jade Johanson
Summary: The Doctor finds himself stuck in the Pandorica with all his emotions, seeing his world burn into ashes, when Amy's voice cries out, calling him back. And when the world is renewed, when all is right, he goes on a series of adventures with his Ponds. But when will they find out the truth about what he endured? AU to all episodes after The Big Bang II. Rated for safety!
1. Introduction

**AN: This is my first multi-chapter FanFiction that isn't just a series of one shots, like _The Two Sides of Me_ was. Constructive criticism is welcome! I am always seeking to improve my writings! I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 _Introduction:_

Fire burned through the Doctor's veins.

Each second felt like a lifetime.

In this place, there was no time, no space, just agony.

He could see every single moment of history burning, swirling in front of his eyes, constantly changing and pulsing with the heat within him.

It was like someone was turning every single fantasized agony into written truth.

The Doctor no longer knew who he was.

All the memories he clung onto so avidly, all his comfort, was gone.

He could feel them all forgetting him.

Emptiness filled his hearts.

Then, for a fleeting moments, glimpses of the present whirled before his eyes.

He could see the Ponds.

They were walking.

Talking.

Laughing.

The happiest couple in the world.

Their lives were just as the Doctor never could have made them.

And yet he couldn't help but cry out.

Over and over he cried their names, but they would not listen.

He tried to reach out to touch Amy's hand; she seemed so close; but all he could feel was the touch of red-hot steel.

The memory slipped out of his reach, fading into another version of reality, one that he could not touch.

One that he could not mess up.

He could have had this a long time ago.

He could have said goodbye before ever saying hello.

But it hurt so much.

In all the loneliness that the Doctor had ever known, this was the greatest curse he had to bear.

Because now he could see all of them.

What they could have been.

Donna was just an ordinary temp.

She never forgot.

She never HAD to forget.

Martha went on.

She got her degree.

There was no man she was forever waiting for.

And Rose….

Rose was still the pink and yellow light in the world that she had always been.

She married Mickey.

She lived an extraordinary human life.

She went places.

And yet….

She lived life everyday and never ever cared about the universe.

About the Doctor.

HER Doctor.

And it ripped him apart.

Because out of all the things he had known,

The sorrow,

The despair,

The thing the Doctor had always hung onto was hope that there was someone out there who cared.

The next adventure.

Something new.

SOMEONE new.

The old linger,

Holding onto hope that the young will come and lift up their spirits again.

And out of all of time and space, the thing the Doctor most needed was not his TARDIS.

It wasn't Gallifrey.

It wasn't Earth.

It was that knowledge that there was always a hand to hold.

Someone out there who could say Doctor Who

And DELIGHT in the answer.

DELIGHT in who,

What the Doctor was.

And yet now,

Now all his years,

Watching the clock slowly,

Surely,

Run out,

He was alone.

And now there was no one to hear his voice.

No one to listen.

His purpose was extinguished.

All hope gone.

And he waited,

His skin burning with all the fire inside him,

Knowing all hope was gone.

It could have been a thousand years that the Doctor sat there,

Hopeless,

Empty,

With no way of escape from his misery.

He had once cheated death to continue his existence.

Because life held so much.

Now he wished nothing more than to end it.

If this was life, he did not want it.

Then softly, like a whisper from far away, he heard Amy.

She was slowly coming into view.

She was…..

Crying.

Almost pleading.

He heard his name, like a voice from the past.

 _Doctor._

And as through a haze,

All his agony,

All his misery,

Faded away,

Leaving him gasping for air like he had just run a marathon.

Then he heard a familiar sound.

He half expected it to fade away,

To be a trick his mind was playing with him to cope with the agony around him,

But no.

He could hear the TARDIS humming in his mind.

So alive.

So very alive.

How many years had it been since he could touch life?

Feel life?

How many lifetimes had he experienced crashing down before this moment came?

He slowly stood up, felt the ground.

Yes.

It was his TARDIS.

He could have shouted for joy.

He ran frantically around,

Throwing clothes here and there,

Double checking everything.

Bowtie?

Cool.

Top Hat?

Also cool.

Blazer, shirt, trousers?

All cool.

Fixing a smile on his face,

Smoothing out the weight of the trauma he had been through,

He made his grand entrance.

And all through the night,

As he danced away the sorrows of his past,

He made sure never,

Ever,

To once let on that he had despaired.

Eventually the weight of holding up his façade was too much.

He slowly edged out of the party,

Wandering back to his TARDIS.

The smooth wood felt cool,

Familiar under his fingers.

The Doctor gave a sad smile.

Rory and Amy Pond.

The Girl and Boy Who Waited.

But he could see it all now.

How much happier they would be without him.

Yes,

The emptiness would still burn like fire in his memory,

But they were happy.

He could go back to saving the universe with that thought on his mind.

"Hey, where do you think you're going, Raggedy Man," Amy's sassy Scottish voice cut into the Doctor's thoughts, "It's my wedding night."

"Away," He answered quietly, and stepped into the TARDIS.

Amy followed,

Dragging Rory behind her.

"My Ponds," the Doctor sighed, "I'm afraid this is goodbye."

"Yes, I think it is, right Rory?" Amy agreed.

"Yes, definitely," Rory answered, seemingly ready to leave.

But Amy said goodbye,

Not to the Doctor,

But to her planet,

To her life,

Because she knew where she belonged.

Right there,

Traveling with the Doctor,

Until the end came.


	2. Chapter 1

**AN: Hello again! I hope those people who actually were nice enough to look at my rubbish story enjoy it so far! Thank you so much to all those who took time to look at this! Even the views make my day! :) So here is the first real chapter! Enjoy!**

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The next day,

Amy and Rory woke up yawning in their TARDIS bedroom.

"Bunk beds," Amy muttered, "What on EARTH put that into his head?"

Rory sat up, trying to avoid hitting his head on the bottom of the top bunk.

They got dressed and shuffled out into the console.

As always,

The Doctor was already awake.

Sometimes Amy wondered if he ever slept.

"Good Morning, Ponds," The Doctor beamed.

Amy opened her mouth to complain about the bunk beds, but seeing the look in the Doctor's eyes, she decided not to spoil it.

"Good morning," she replied.

Rory just stared blearily around the console,

Trying to bring the room into focus.

Amy nudged him.

"Hey, Stupid Face, wake up."

Rory just mumbled something about breakfast and stumbled off towards the kitchen.

"So, what surprise do you have for us today?" Amy teased the Doctor, "Another running-for-our-lives alien attack I presume?"

"Ah, come on, it's not like I try to get into trouble." The Doctor whined. "The TARDIS just can't resist."

"Oh, so there's some sort of spacey-wacey navigator thingamajig that just HAPPENS to always be on?" Amy raised an eyebrow.

"Yes." The Doctor said, "NO! But if it helps, yes."

"Amy!" Rory called.

"I'd better see what he wants. Probably can't figure out how to work the stove. The TARDIS is ALWAYS making things difficult." Amy called over her shoulder as she hurried to go help Rory.

"It's okay, Old Girl, she doesn't mean it," the Doctor soothed the TARDIS, stroking the console.

"Hey Doctor, you want any breakfast?" Amy called back from the kitchen, pretending not to have heard his comment.

"Coming, coming." The Doctor called back, stroking the TARDIS one last time.

The Doctor walked into the kitchen to find Amy cooking eggs and Rory "helping"…

Which usually involved a lot of egg on the floor.

The Doctor smiled at their arguing.

Amy finally noticed the Doctor standing in the doorway and finally relinquished the pan to Rory.

"Anything you need, Doctor?" She asked, trying to brush egg off her skirt.

"I'll just sit down here, thanks." He answered, and settled down at a table.

When the eggs were finally cooked (with the majority of the egg ending up on the floor), Amy made some tea and they all sat down at the table.

"Could we please just have a day in?" Rory pleaded.

"Oh, come on, you've got the whole universe, and you ask to explore a blue box that's bigger on the inside?" Amy teased him.

"Hey!" The Doctor protested. "It's not just a "big blue box"! Are you, Old Girl?" He crooned.

Amy sighed. "Doctor, you do realize you are talking to a spaceship?"

The Doctor looked down sheepishly.

"Anyways, it's our honeymoon. What about somewhere romantic?" Amy continued.

"NOT VENICE!" Rory immediately responded.

"Maybe Paris. The Eiffel Tower? The quaint shops?" Amy suggested.

"Paris it is then!" The Doctor said, knocking over the chair as he jumped up.

He ran back to the console room, leaving Amy and Rory to catch up, leaving their half-finished breakfast.

"Here we go again." Amy said, rolling her eyes and dragging Rory back to the console room, where the Doctor was already skidding around, slipping on the glass floor, pulling a lever here, pushing a button there.

"Paris, here we come!" The Doctor laughed gleefully, attempting to hold on as the TARDIS lurched.

The Doctor opened the door with a flourish.

"Ah! Paris!" he sighed. "Year…. 5000, I believe. No…. 5029. Yes, 5029. The Eiffel Tower has been rebuilt three, no four times, and was moved to a less central location in order to not interfere with traffic."

"Why would the Eiffel Tower be moved as to not interfere with TRAFFIC of all things?" Rory asked, bewildered.

"See for yourself," The Doctor beamed.

Amy looked out and gasped.

They were standing in a giant glass dome that enclosed the whole of the city.

Other, smaller glass tunnels led away from the city, into other parts of what Amy assumed was France.

The Eiffel Tower was still noticeable, because it was much taller and much bigger than all the other buildings that lined the streets, but such buildings Amy had never seen in her life.

They were at least a thousand stories tall, and yet they didn't even reach the top of the glass dome.

And the cars, the traffic!

There were millions of them, but there was no exhaust.

And they were hovering!

There were ten lanes that were at least twenty cars deep.

"No wonder the Eiffel Tower was rebuilt and moved along the other buildings! I think turning's difficult enough now…. I can't imagine doing it here!" Amy breathed.

The Doctor smiled, spinning in a circle.

"Humans, amazing humans. You harnessed energy from everything, the grass, the trees, the flowers, and you made this, a man-made economy. You never stop moving on. France was one of the first to make the transitions. Of course, the Americans and the Russians had to be first, but still! You made all this!"

"Thank you so much, Doctor!" Amy cried, pecking him on the cheek and taking Rory's hand, who was still in shock from the sight.

"Come on!" The Doctor cried. "To the Eiffel Tower!"

And off he ran tugging his precious Ponds along with him.

Amy practically dragged Rory into the first "department store" they found.

She ran around, giggling at the fashion sense.

"You better watch your tongue, your fashion sense is pretty rubbish to them too." The Doctor mumbled under his breath.

"And YOURS isn't?" Amy giggled.

"It is NOT." The Doctor replied, outraged. "It is REASONABLE clothing, thank you very much."

Amy rolled her eyes.

"Ooo, Rory, you'd look handsome in that," Amy teased, gesturing to a hideous, tight fitting suit made of some glitzy material that seemed to be "in" at this particular time. Rory's ears turned bright red. "What's it made out of Doctor, fish skin?"

"Well, actually…" the Doctor began, but was cut off by Amy's snide comments about the makeup they wore now.

As Amy wandered through the store, the Doctor felt a small mental nudge, a pulling, a searching probe. He looked, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw a figure he never wanted, or expected to see. A slight shadow went over his face. He would fight it as hard and long as he could, but eventually he knew he would have to give in.

And his Ponds would be alone, unwilling to let him go, not knowing what had happened to him.

 _But, hey,_ the Doctor thought, _let them have their fun now while they can. Evil, psychic aliens later._ A grim laugh escaped his lips, and he went back to where Amy was modeling the "decently fashionable" clothes to Rory, and embarrassing him further by making him try on some of the more embarrassing outfits.

Eventually Amy was done, and managed to buy three bags worth of clothes and makeup in this "unfashionable" store after virtually insulting every single item that she did and didn't buy.

"How do you MANAGE that?" the Doctor asked.

"Really, Raggedy Man, is it that hard?" Amy teased. "RORY could even tell you how."

"Thanks Amy," Rory muttered.

"Oh come on, you know what I mean," Amy said, pecking him on the cheek. "The point is, Doctor, having traveled with as many other woman as you have, you should know by now, a futuristic store is a virtually heyday. You HAVE to buy SOMETHING."

The Doctor rolled his eyes, muttered something under his breath, and kept on walking.

About halfway down the street, the Doctor suddenly stopped, causing Amy to nearly collide with him.

"Oi!" she shouted. "Watch it-"

She was silenced by the Doctor's hand over her mouth.

He tried to keep the tremor out of his voice.

He couldn't take it anymore.

The mental probe was taking all his energy, sapping it from his limbs like water from a tap.

He had to give in.

"Shhh," he said, his voice never once revealing the anxiety that pervaded his whole body in waves. "There is something following us, has been for about…" he gulped and laughed nervously. "Well, that's not important, what is important is that you are going to have to be very, very brave, and, well, do something you never do, but you must, UNDER ALL CIRCUMSTANCES, do now. Leave me, save yourselves, and RUN!"

"No," Amy said, shaking her head. "There is no way I am leaving you."

"You have to, Amy," the Doctor pleaded. "Please. I can't fight it anymore. Just. RUN."

With that, he turned around, muttered something in Gallifreyan that sounded vaguely like a prayer, and disappeared in a cloud of golden dust. In his place was a creature, with beautiful golden robes and an aura of a power and wisdom about it. If it wasn't for its face, Amy would have thought it beautiful.

However, its face was a grotesque imitation of all that was pure in the world. It was black and twisted, as if it had been burned and tortured, its eyes plucked out and left as red, burning, gaping holes in the skin.

"We are your godsssss," it gasped, in a dry, gritty, tortured tone. "And you will obey."

* * *

 **And that's that! I hope you enjoyed the cliff hanger! *evil laugh***

 **Until next time...**


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The Doctor woke up with a start.

He took in his surroundings.

He was in a stasis chamber.

Metal manacles clamped his hands and feet to the walls.

Everything was cold, so very cold, and he noticed for the first time he was shirtless.

He tried to move his head, but it was clamped in a solid iron vice.

A clammy, twisted hand that practically emanated the mixed signals of power and cruelty caressed the Doctor's face.

"You. Will. Obey," the voice hissed.

"No," the Doctor answered, wincing with the mental probes that were now assailing him from all sides.

Electromagnetic waves assailed his brain, weakening his will and his defenses.

"You. Will. Obey," the voice insisted once more.

"No…" the Doctor whimpered.

More and more waves assailed his brain until there was only a corner of sanity left in his mind.

"YOU. WILL. OBEY," the voice hissed triumphantly.

And the Doctor, against his will that had been stripped away, against all he once was, replied, "Yes, my lord. I will obey."

Raucous laughter filled the chamber.

"Come, my brotherssss," the voice cackled. "Tonight we ssshall not only rule the Doctor, but all of Parisss assss well."

A cacophony of laughter joined the chorus, until a thousand different demonic voices laughed at their power and insanity.

Amy ran. She ran faster than she had ever before, even in all the years she had been with the Doctor.

A million theories ran through her head.

One, the Doctor could be teleported.

Two, the Doctor could be captured.

Three, the Doctor could be being tortured.

And, lastly, worse case scenario, the Doctor was dead.

Unfortunately, this was the scenario at the forefront of Amy's mind at the moment.

Rory, who she had barely noticed so far, as engrossed as she was in her own thoughts, tug her into what looked like an alley. ( _It was SO hard to tell when you were out of your own time,_ Amy reflected.)

"Come on!" He mouthed, and she followed, willing for any distraction, any at all.

The creature roared with what sounded like a mixture of frustration and pure agony, and stormed after them.

The Doctor's mind was screaming. Every part of his body was in agony. He could still feel the electromagnetic waves assailing him, suppressing him in the deepest parts of his consciousness.

And yet no sound would come.

All the years of his life he was in control, was able to conquer ever the most unruly of emotions, able to keep going, pretending as he was, keeping up the façade that was all his companions would ever see.

And yet here he was, forced into the most primal parts of his consciousness, and he could feel the pulsing force of evil, a force he had never experienced before.

Yes, he had felt anger.

He had felt pain.

He had been assailed by guilt and heartbreak and all the other emotions that defined him.

But never evil.

No, evil was new.

And it defiled his life like all the blood on his hands from the genocide of his race could never do.

And he could feel him laughing with the rest, an evil, cackling sound that made him want to run away for all his life, but he was marooned into place.

And he felt himself saying with the rest words that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

"We are your gods. And you will obey!"

 _No,_ his last parts of sanity screamed, _no._

But it was lost in the bewildering feelings that permeated through his body.

And the Doctor knew in that moment that if it was not for the entities that were holding him up, he would not even be standing.

And slowly everything around him faded into blackness as drugs were pumped into his veins.

Amy and Rory were at a loss.

They were trapped in a dark alley on an earth that was not their own, awaiting their deaths, when the creature vanished in cloud of golden dust.

"Wh-where did it go?" Rory stammered.

"I don't know," said Amy, sounding more in control than Rory, but really still internally panicking, recovering from the adrenaline pumping through her veins, "But that's the same type of thing that took the Doctor away." She groaned. "Gosh, I've never thought I'd miss him more than now."

Rory gently pulled her into a hug as she began to sob from the shock of everything that had happened that day.

She cried for the Doctor.

She cried for the insanity of the situation.

And she cried for the loss of an age and the death of all that was good.

"What is the meaning of thisss?" the same hideous creature that had pursued the Ponds hissed. "Death wassss near, my prey wasssss there. And you choose to bring me back?!"

"Patience. A more intimate death awaits them." The leader announced with morbid glee.

The stasis chamber opened and the Doctor was revealed, eyes closed, held up only by the manacles that bound him.

Manic laughter filled the room as the Doctor's eyes snapped open and he formed dry, gasping words with a voice not his own, "I will find them." he took a long, rattling breath, "And they will worship you."

Pain.

The pleasant blackness turned into a living torment as the Doctor felt unholy fire burning through his throat and permeating every single corner of his sanity.

It hurt to open his eyes.

It hurt to form words.

Everything was on fire, and he wished he could scream.

But all that came out was twisted words of wrath against all he held dear in the world.

Then he was falling, falling so far down into the city below, and with a feeling of lightness, he fell down into the corner of an alley, where he fell into darkness once more.

"Doctor!" he heard Rory's voice calling. "Amy! Come over here!"

Blearily the Doctor opened his eyes.

 _NOOO!_ the last part of his sanity screamed at him _RUN!_

And so the Doctor ran as far away as he could, leaving Rory in his dust gaping at where he had been.

"Where'd he go?" Amy questioned as she came up, panting.

For the last hour she had been searching with Rory all over town for the Doctor, becoming increasingly frustrated at the flippant nature of the people to the imminent danger they were all in.

 _And now, of all times,_ Amy thought, _the Doctor goes and disappears. AGAIN._

"I-I'm not sure," Rory answered, bewildered.

Amy huffed. "So you brought me all the way over here to show me nothing?"

"H-he just took off running. I found him unconscious in that alleyway, and when I finally got him awake, he took off running like a terrified rabbit."

Amy's eyes widened. "We have to find him, Rory. NOW."

And with that she took off running towards the Eiffel tower, around with all things seemed to center.

When the Doctor finally reached the center of the city, he was overcome by a mental assault so strong that it made him nauseous.

 _NO!_ the voice in his head screamed, _You were supposed to kill them._

Rage, inexplicable rage boiled over, searing through him like a red hot iron.

And yet now he was so numb from the pain of fighting that he gave in.

And for a moment they took over.

The creatures (who would not refer to themselves as anything but "your gods") were anxiously watching their view of the world through the Doctor's eyes, much like a group of guys would gather to watch a football match.

As Rory come into view, there was a wild cheering, which with their voices was the epitome of hate, twisted and turned into sound.

But what happened next turned their laughter into rage as the Doctor began to run away.

And all the hate of their species was bent on controlling the Doctor, a feeling which overpowered and subdued the Doctor many miles below.

"We must feast on their minds. First the Doctor, now Parissss, then the WORLD!" their leader screamed.

* * *

 **AN: Sorry. I am leaving you on another cliffhanger. I probably enjoy tormenting my readers (if anybody is still reading this) a little too much. However, the good part is, I have through Chapter 4 already written, so you shouldn't have to wait too long. I own nothing expect for the aliens that I made up. :) Until next time...**

 **PS: I now am trying to update every week, if I can keep up with it...**


	4. Chapter 3

**AN: Hi again! I hope you don't hate me now, will all the cliffhangers, but here's a new chapter, hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 3

The Doctor lifted his hands up to the sky, and a golden ball of light formed above his hands.

He forced all his twisted will into smashing it into the nearest building, eliciting shouts of horror from the people inside.

He then stormed inside, yelling in the voices of those who ruled him, "BOW! Bow and death will not find you now! BOW!"

Some shakily fell on their faces, but the ones who were too slow he grabbed by the shoulders, and the energy that poured out from him in waves devoured them hungrily.

The rest he touched and they forgot all earthly cares in the support of the greater cause.

Shop after shop the Doctor destroyed, selecting those he would have and adding them to the number.

Lines of kneeling people, trembling, awaited their judgment, clinging to loved ones in the hope that if they went, they would go together.

They all had one thing in common: the Doctor judged.

And he found a perverted joy in him at his master's power.

Amy and Rory came upon the city in shambles, lines of those kneeling waiting for something.

And they noted a strange spaceship's descent onto the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Those who had been kneeling were illuminated with a strange golden glow, and, eyes unblinking, they began their long ponderous walk towards their gods.

That was when Amy spotted the Doctor.

He was standing in front of a small child.

A small crying child.

And he was standing, hands outstretched to give his judgment, but nothing was happening.

And so Amy ran to him, remembering all the things he had taught her.

How they could travel the universe, go across galaxies, past, present, future, and yet they could do nothing.

Except when children were crying.

She slowed as she reached him, and whispered quietly in his ear, "Let me tell you a story."

The Doctor turned to her, tears streaming down his face, and for once in his life, listened.

"It's a sad story, but there were a lot of a happy moments too. It's a story of a man who showed a little red headed girl the world when she had nothing. It's the story of a man who would do anything in the world except let children cry. Do you remember that man? I know he's in there somewhere."

The Doctor looked at her and he knew.

He knew what he was here for.

He knew why he was crying.

And with the last effort of will he had, he shouted, "You can all claim to be gods. But gods can't be taken down. And I think you can."

And a huge blast of mental energy streamed from the Doctor, crumbling the Eiffel Tower and the spaceship, breaking all bonds he had ever had with them.

And the Doctor faded into pleasant blackness.

Rory ran up, smiling from ear to ear. "He did it!" he said enthusiastically. "I knew he would do it!"

Then his look of joy turned into pure concern as he saw the Doctor collapse into Amy's arms.

Now Amy was really panicking.

"We have to get him back to the TARDIS! NOW!" she said, breaking down into hysterics.

Rory went into "nurse mode".

"Carry his legs," he said, "And I'll carry his arms."

And in that manner they carried the Doctor back to the TARDIS, unseen by everyone, and laid him at the door, unsure of what to do next.

Amy, who was still shocked into obedience by the situation, began to freak out again once no solution came to them on how to open the TARDIS doors.

"HOW. DO. WE. OPEN. _THESE!"_ she yelled angrily, banging on the TARDIS doors.

"Amy, take some deep breaths," Rory soothed.

"I will NOT!" Amy shouted. "My best friend is lying unconscious at our feet and you tell me to TAKE DEEP BREATHS?! OPEN!" she shouted again.

Noiselessly, the TARDIS door opened and led the way for them to the med bay, where they laid the Doctor down on the table and waited.

When the Doctor opened his eyes, all he could feel was a pain, a burning pain inside his head.

"Shhh," he heard Rory's voice sooth as he placed a cool cloth across his eyes. "Just the aftereffects of the mental strain, I presume. Just relax."

The Doctor took some deep breaths before starting, "Where am I?"

"Y-" Rory started before the Doctor heard the door slammed and Amy interrupted.

"In the TARDIS med bay, and lucky to be alive I would say. You had us all scared there."

The Doctor visibly tensed. "How long was I asleep?"

Rory shushed Amy and began, "Just a couple days…."

"Just a couple days?! More like a fortnight, I would say." Amy interrupted.

"Amy!" Rory hissed.

"Bad timing?" she whispered.

"Yeah, I would say," Rory answered.

"You know I can hear everything you say," the Doctor muttered.

Amy rolled her eyes, and the Doctor could practically taste the sarcasm in her tone.

"Yes, we realize Doctor."

The Doctor attempted to sit up, but felt extreme pain shoot through his body as he did so.

He grimaced, removing the cloth from his eyes.

An overstimulation of light pierced his eyes, causing him to have to slump back down with a groan and cover his eyes with his hands.

"You IDIOT, Doctor," Amy said between her teeth. "'Oh, yeah, I just almost died, let's see if I can get up.' REALLY."

"You need sleep," Rory interceded. "And, no, Doctor, no objections. You weren't asleep for a fortnight. You were unconscious. Big difference. Sleep. NOW."

And with that the Doctor closed his eyes, letting sleep engulf him once more.

 _He was trapped._

 _All around him, reality collapsed._

 _He was falling, falling with everything around him._

 _Falling…_

 _Falling…_

"Doctor!" He heard Amy call. "Doctor, can you hear me?! Are you hurt? Doctor!"

"Amy?" The Doctor whispered blearily.

"Yes, it's me," Amy crooned.

"What h-happened?" He asked, trying to sit up and being overcome by an aching pain that covered his whole body, weighing down his limbs.

Amy hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to continue.

The Doctor noticed her hesitation and (awkwardly) tried to change the subject.

"Why is-" he began, than stopped when he saw tears were running down Amy's face, glistening in the dim light.

"You were crying," Amy whispered, "crying for the pain to stop. Crying for them to stop dying. Crying because you were lonely. And I-I couldn't help you."

The Doctor hastily started putting up his defenses.

"It was just a dream, just a figment of my imag-" the Doctor started.

Amy shook her head, and pulled the Doctor into a hug.

"No, it wasn't. And don't you DARE ever hide from me again," Amy said firmly, her sassy Scottish nature coming back into her voice."

"They died because of me, Amy," the Doctor sniffled, his defenses beginning to break. "Why do you want to travel with a murderer?"

He sounded so broken and alone that Amy wanted to fight all his battled for him, and win every single one of them.

But she couldn't.

So all she said was, "Oh Raggedy Man, you're not a murderer. You're a Doctor. And doctors make everyone's lives better, no matter how many bad days they might have."

So she held him as he cried until he drifted off into a restless sleep, and that was how Rory found them the next morning, asleep in each other's embrace, the Doctor's face red from crying.

And yet Rory thought just a few lines of care had been wiped off his face.

So he woke Amy and they left the Doctor to sleep off the nightmares of the previous events.


	5. Chapter 4

**AN: Uh, hi. I hope you aren't too mad if you actually read this crap. But hey, I'm updating. I could have NOT updated, considering school and things happen. So yeah. Band's done. I (might?) have time now. That is a BIG might. Very, very big might. But, I do have all of Chapter 5 written and some of Chapter 6, so expect the weekly update next week. After that, time will tell. So yay, let's go back to tormenting the Doctor. And breaking him down. And feels. And stuff. *smiles evilly***

* * *

The Doctor opened his eyes.

With a pang all the blurred events of the night before came flooding back and he winced at his weakness.

He nearly jumped up as the TARDIS engulfed him in the mental equivalent of a hug, sensitized as he was to all mental contact.

He laughed sheepishly at his foolishness as the TARDIS withdrew hastily, embarrassment leaking through their mental link.

"Hey, Old Girl," he said tiredly. "It's okay, just jumpy that's all."

"Doctor!" Amy yelled, bursting through the door and engulfing the Doctor in a hug. "You're up!"

"Nice to see you to, Pond," he answered. "Yes, I'm up."

Amy stepped back and looked him over concernedly. "Our Centurion may say you need sleep, but I say a little food would do you good."

"Amy…." The Doctor warned.

"No buts," Amy tutted. "We almost lost you once, I don't want to lose you again to starvation. To the kitchen!" she said, running out again, dragging the Doctor with her.

When the Doctor reached the kitchen, he slumped down at the table, without his usual verve.

Rory gave Amy a disapproving look, which she ignored, and went over and placed his hand on the Doctor's shoulder. He shivered slightly at the touch.

"Would you like some tea?" Rory asked gently.

The Doctor nodded and looked up, forcing a smile that seemed all too cheerful and never reached his eyes.

While the water boiled, Rory kept looking over at the Doctor.

He had never seemed to tire easily before, but now he seemed exhausted.

He was also thin.

Way too thin.

It was like Rory could break his bones by simply dropping a feather.

Rory sighed.

The Doctor saves so many other people's lives that he never stopped to think about his own.

When the tea was done, Rory set a glass down in front of the Doctor.

The Doctor smiled gratefully at Rory before taking a sip.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Rory asked.

The Doctor muttered something inaudible under his breath, turning bright red.

"What was that?" Rory asked.

"I said you don't have to do this for me," The Doctor whispered, a little louder.

"Yes we do," said Amy, interceding. "You have to eat something and you are in no state to do it yourself."

With that she pulled out some fish fingers and custard from the refrigerator and began to heat the fish fingers up.

The Doctor looked up at them both and gave a small, sad smile.

"I will never figure out why my companions see the blood on my hands and the fire seared into my eyes and reach down and carry me back to the land of the living again."

He laughed gently before putting up his façade once more and smiling that wide, childish smile again.

"So, where do you want to go today?"

Amy exchanged a look with Rory before starting.

"Doctor?" she questioned gently, before kneeling by him and lifting his head up so he couldn't avoid her gaze. "You do realize that you nearly died on the last 'adventure' we went on and now you're asking for us to go through that again?"

The Doctor's face fell.

He could be SUCH a child sometimes.

Amy engulfed him in a hug, trying not to let the fact that she could feel every bone in his back bother her and torn between laughing at the absurdity of the situation and crying all the Doctor's tears for him.

They were pulled out of the embrace by the insistent beeping of the microwave and Rory's exaggerated clearing of his throat.

Amy rolled her eyes and set the food down in front of the Doctor, making sure he ate every last crumb.

The Doctor lay back in bed that night, contemplating the day's events.

It had been a boring day, so much so that he really wondered how humans could stand staying in one little corner of one little planet when there was so much more out there.

He sighed.

The TARDIS gently nudged his consciousness, making him tense momentarily, but he gradually relaxed into the soothing contact.

He had forgotten how it felt to relish a mental link that didn't force you into the smallest realm of your sanity.

The TARDIS heard his thoughts and hastily tried to hide the data records of that event from him.

But the Doctor felt her aching melancholy throbbing in his mind and he quickly felt guilt sear at his hearts.

 _What happened over that fortnight_ the Doctor wondered _to make you reluctant to share your heart with me._

All he got in response was another wave of mixed feelings from the TARDIS.

But the one that surprised him the most was the _fear_ the TARDIS had felt.

He sighed, and, breaking the intimate link to a small humming in the back of his mind, set off to find Amy, or, if that failed, he would find some way into cajoling the TARDIS to give him those data records.

The Doctor gently opened the door to his room.

He knew if at all possible the TARDIS would try to prevent him from getting to Amy.

A thought crossed his mind that the TARDIS might want to hide him from that information to protect him, and he briefly faltered, but brushed the thought away quickly, even though he could feel the TARDIS's anger and determination throbbing at the back of his mind.

He knew where Amy's room SHOULD be, so he wandered in that direction, but quickly became lost and frustrated with the winding passageways and dead ends the TARDIS threw at him.

He could almost feel the TARDIS smirking through their mental link.

And over and over again he would find the door to his room at what seemed like a dead end.

" _Fine!_ " he shouted, both physically and mentally. " _I'm exhausted anyway! Have it your way!_ "

And with that he stormed into his room at the end of the hall, slamming the door with a sense of satisfaction emanating from the TARDIS.

The Doctor plopped down onto his bed with a sigh. He stared up at his ceiling. When he had first stolen the TARDIS, the Doctor had found his room as an exact replica of his room on Gallifrey when he was young. Very, very young. He was so old now. So very old. So very tired. So very worn. But his room had changed with him, and since he had destroyed his planet, he had cast aside all memories as painful and changed his room to the dark swirling abyss of the black hole he and Rose had seen on that fated day, long ago. His other self. And that black hole was there to remind him that there was a fine line holding him from being sucked into the darkness of despair, and that line had, and always would be, his companions.

The Doctor realized that there were now tears streaming down his face.

 _Weak_ his mind taunted him.

He growled in frustration.

 _"I am not weak,"_ he shouted out loud, storming out of the room.

He ran down the TARDIS halls, outrunning his life, his fears. Eventually he came to the library, where he sat down in a corner and cried for all the injustices of the world.

For Rose.

For Donna.

For all those who were dead and gone.

And for those he had to leave behind.


	6. Chapter 5

**AN: Bit of light happy moments in this one (surprise, surprise), although some hurt/comfort at the beginning and dark hints in between. Also, I still need to finish the next chapter, so weekly updates will vary from now on, due to the lack of premeditated writing material. I am thinking about adding River into the next chapter; what do y'all think? You can either submit your response in a review or PM me, although I don't know how effective that would be, since it is Jade, not me, that gets the emails. So review is preferable. If you think she should be in it, tell me also whether it should be her early in her timeline or later... Determines a LOT. So, all that having been said, here's the story. Enjoy!**

* * *

Amy jolted awake, panicking a little. She hadn't had a nightmare; so what was waking her at this hour?

Then she realized there was a sort of…. discontentment emanating from the TARDIS.

The only time she had awoken with the same feeling within the last month had been…

"Oh gosh," Amy gasped, as realization hit her.

As quickly as she could without waking Rory, she hurried down the ladder of the bunk bed ( _really Doctor_ ), scarcely considering her disheveled appearance in her concern for the Doctor. If something had happened…

"Okay," Amy whispered once outside her room. Rory had stirred in his sleep, but not awoken; this would be easier to resolve on her own anyway. After all, it was HER, not Rory, the TARDIS had chosen, both times, to share her concern.

Calming herself a little, and taking a moment to straighten her nighty before heading to find the Doctor, she requested, "Okay, Old Girl. Show me where."

Amy's expectation was for the TARDIS to direct her to the Console Room; that was always where the Doctor was, and Amy had a feeling that even if the Doctor had the strength left to get to the med bay, he would never admit weakness enough to go there; but instead the TARDIS led her into the library.

The scent of old books mixed with chlorine met her nose as she entered the ancient library.

She relished in the scent, memories of her seven-year-old-self coming back. The swimming pool in the library. Apparently not much had changed.

She rounded the corner in trepidation, but was surprised to be met with a completely calm, composed Doctor, sitting cross-legged in one of the many nooks in the room, reading a book.

"Doctor?" she questioned nervously, uncertain what to do now that there was no problem that immediately manifested itself.

The Doctor started, looking up from his book.

He gave a soft smile.

"Amy! Why aren't you in bed?" he asked gently.

She shrugged and went to join him in his corner.

"Couldn't sleep," she said simply. "What are you doing up?"

The Doctor smiled, a little too cheerfully for Amy's liking.

"Oh, you know. What I do."

A comfortable silence ensued, both enjoying the silent companionship.

Finally, Amy broke the silence.

"Doctor?" she questioned. When no answer was forthcoming, she asked anyway, "Do you ever sleep?"

He looked up, contemplating her seriously.

"You're worrying about me," he concluded, evading the question entirely.

Amy sighed, rolling her eyes slightly as he returned to his book, but she didn't push it.

Soon however, she noticed his hands were shaking slightly; his shoulders were slumped, his gaze unfocused.

"What happened that night?" he whispered, "That made you so afraid."

Amy sighed. So THAT'S what was keeping him up.

"Doctor," she pleaded. "Look at me."

He slowly raised his head, and only now did she notice his slightly red-rimmed eyes from hastily wiped away tears and the tears stains that had dried before she was there. Now was not the time to dwell on that, though.

"You don't need to know what you did. Because we don't care. All we care is that you're here. You're safe. Nothing more needs said."

With that she walked out of the room, leaving the Doctor stunned, but with a slight smile on his face.

When she got back to her room, Rory slurred, "Amy? What's wrong?"

"Shhhh," Amy silenced him with a kiss. "Go to bed. You shouldn't be up anyway."

"Mmmm," Rory groaned contentedly as she slid onto the bottom bunk next to him.

Tomorrow was a new day.

When Amy woke once more, it was still dark in her room. She checked her watch and groaned. It was only five o'clock in the morning. Well, at least on Earth. In the TARDIS, time was not an object- more of an abstract idea than an actual reality.

A crash from the console room, accompanied by a shout of "Ouch!" from the Doctor, jolted her awake completely.

"Doctor!" she shouted. "Mind toning it down a little, Scottish girl trying to sleep here!"

"Sorry Amy!" The Doctor yelled back.

Rory mumbled sarcastically by her side, "Yeah, now that we're all up, we might as well do something useful instead of lamenting our loss of sleep."

"Oi, Stupid Face," Amy scolded. "Don't be so down about it. Imagine all the things we'll do with today."

With that she hopped out of bed, leaving her husband to bemoan the loss of warmth as his wife left his side.

Amy was actually the first in the console room today. She found the Doctor on the lower level of the TARDIS, sitting in his swing muttering to himself.

She immediately noticed the source of the crash.

A large beam had fallen from the mass of electrical wires hidden underneath the glass floor.

"Um, sorry?" the Time Lord grinned sheepishly, nervously wringing his hands.

Amy rolled her eyes. "Say sorry to the Last Centurion. I was already up, but the wrath of Rory the Roman may be something you don't want to face."

The Doctor winced slightly at the mention of the Pandorica, but it went unnoticed as Rory himself came under, dressed but with the last remnants of sleep in his eyes.

"Anybody in here sane enough to actually make breakfast?" Rory asked.

"Right, yes, breakfast." The Doctor began, clapping his hands together. "I make fabulous omelets. Ever know that, Rory?" As the Roman shook his head in the negative, the Doctor continued rambling. "No, you probably wouldn't know that, silly me, always forgetting things."

"Doctor," Amy interceded for Rory, "Breakfast? Without the backstory, please?"

"Yes, breakfast, breakfast," the Doctor mumbled, heading off to the kitchen, leaving Rory staring rather confusedly at his retreating form.

"Is he-" Rory began, but was cut off by Amy.

"Shh," she silenced. "Not now."

And with that she followed the Doctor, her skirt swishing gently back and forth with the motion of her body, leaving Rory speechless.

"So, Doctor," Amy quipped in her Scottish accent. "Where to today?"

When the Doctor opened his mouth to speak, she silenced him with a finger to his lips.

"And no potentially dangerous, futuristic technology hubs either," She requested.

When the Doctor huffed disappointedly, she sighed a little, stilling his hands from their constant movement to force him to look at her.

"You know what I mean Doctor," she said seriously. "We don't want to hurt you again."

Her tone returned to its normal light, teasing tone as Rory walked in.

"What do you think about an exotic beach, Rory?" she asked.

"Fine by me," Rory replied, "As long as there aren't aliens involved." After a pause he added, "And as long as I get breakfast beforehand."

The Doctor laughed, clapping his hands together like a little child.

"Omelets it is then."

After breakfast, they all ran- or in Amy and Rory's case, tried to catch up to the Doctor- to the Console Room.

The Doctor ran around, pressing buttons and whirling dials.

"Where to now?" Amy questioned excitedly.

"See for yourself," The Doctor smiled, opening the door with a flourish.

Amy stepped out onto white sand.

The beach stretched for miles and miles, waters of crystal clear blue stretching as far as the eye could see.

"Aureī Insulae," The Doctor announced, "Planet of the Islands. The name literally translates 'The Golden Islands.' When your species finally gets out here, they saw it and that's all they could see. Strips of gold interspersed with clear waters." His face darkened for a moment, and he muttered under his breath, "Now that was a day and a half," before he cheered up again and saying, "But this is only 1987, by your time; and its people, humanoids, are only just beginning themselves. So, _ideally_ , no danger of mass murdering alien attacks or angry wars or paradoxes or genocide," the last word was half muttered under his breath.

By this point both Amy and Rory were staring at him with looks on their face like _really Doctor enough with that just have fun_.

"Okay, okay," he said, throwing up his hands in resignation. "That's the future," He smiled. "Let's have a little fun in the now."

He locked the TARDIS door with a snap of his fingers and they ran off down the beach.

The Doctor looked up into the sky, breathing in the rich atmosphere, hoping beyond hope that just this once, he could have the thrill without the cost.


	7. Chapter 6

**AN: *laughs nervously* Hi again. Well, only one day behind schedule. Not dead? So here you go...**

* * *

After about fifteen minutes of sitting on the beach, Amy turned to the Doctor, rolling her eyes.

"Doctor?" she asked, a teasing lilt to her voice.

"Hmmm?" He acknowledged, briefly looking up from his book.

"You do realize you look ridiculous in that tweed jacket and suspenders," She giggled at the confused glare he gave her. "It IS the beach."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Yes, thanks for the observation Pond, and your point is?"

"Doctor," Rory decided to intercede before it became a heated argument, when Amy's hints and nudges still did not have an effect on the Doctor. "You do look slightly, um, un-beach-like?" he said, for lack of a better term.

"Besides," Amy chimed in, "I'm ready for a swim." At the sight of the Doctor's incredulous face, she sighed. "No, you are not waiting on the shore in your suit."

"But-" the Doctor began to protest, but Amy was already dragging him back to the TARDIS, leaving Rory to tag along.

And so it was that the Doctor came back out of the TARDIS, in swim trunks a little too big for this incarnation, ears bright red, being dragged out by an insistent Amy in a flattering swimsuit and Rory tagging along with sunglasses, a sun shirt, and swim trunks on.

"Amy," The Doctor whined, "I don't NEED to swim. I was perfectly fine in my suit." At Amy's glare, he changed tactics, saying, "At least let me sit on the shore with a SHIRT on."

"Doctor," Amy turned around, hands on hips. "We're at the BEACH. The BEACH. NO ONE has a shirt on."

Rory cleared his throat slightly.

"You don't count," Amy said, "considering the Doctor's idea of a shirt is not what you have on."

The Doctor plunked down on the sand, looking for all the world like a pouting child.

A splash from Amy brought him back to reality.

"Hey!" he shouted, and soon it became a full-blown war.

And sure enough, the Doctor eventually forgot that he DIDN'T have a suit on and enjoyed himself, for once.

Finally, tired and out of breath (with the exception of the third, who didn't seem to EVER tire), Amy, Rory, and the Doctor trekked their way back to where they had placed their towels.

"I'm hungry," Amy commented, "Any restaurants you would suggest, Doctor? NORMAL restaurants, please- at least as normal as you can get with an alien planet."

The Doctor contemplated this for a moment before smiling a broad smile and saying, "Come along Ponds. I have just the thing."

And so they ended up sitting in a restaurant, very similar to one on Earth. Even the general atmosphere seemed to be the same; you had the same multi-cultural feel, with the exception that "multi-cultural", in this case, tended to be of other alien species in the same galaxy.

 _1987_ , Amy thought, _and this is where they are. So far compared to us at this time. Further than we ARE, even at the present._

Smiling, a waitress with bright blue hair and clashing startling white skin walked up to their table.

"What drinks can I get for you?" she asked politely.

"Doctor," Amy whispered, panicking slightly. "What drinks do they have at this time?"

But the Doctor was already answering, surprisingly, asking for a cup of hot tea.

So, she nervously asked for a glass of iced green tea. To her surprise, the waitress simply nodded, and went on to Rory, who answered likewise, eliciting the same response.

As the waitress turned to go get their drinks, Amy asked, puzzled, "Why do they understand us?"

The Doctor looked uncomfortable for a moment, his face quickly flushing and his ears going red at the tips.

Taking in a gulp of air before beginning, he said, "Slave race. They were one of the greatest ancient civilizations in the universe. Much like my people, in fact. But they eventually let their power get the better of them. This race, much younger and more eager to gain a reputation on this planet, took them over, enslaving them. There is little left of the dignity that once defined their race; however, as great travelers and hoarders of knowledge, they know virtually everything there is to know about the races strewn across the galaxies.

Hot rage was clear in Amy's voice as she turned to the Doctor in indignation, "And I suppose you can just stand by and let that happen, huh? Just support it? Just accept it?"

"Amy…" The Doctor pleaded, laying his hand gently on her arm.

"No," she shook her head, yanking his hand away. "You know, you may have had experience with these things, as a 900 year old alien. And you may have acquiesced yourself to these things. But that doesn't make it right."

The Doctor didn't know what to say, so he stayed silent.

There were tears now in Amy's eyes.

"You just have to ruin everything, Doctor. Everything," Turning to Rory, she said, "Come on," and pulled him up from the table.

"Amy, wait!" The Doctor cried out after her.

But she was already gone.

"Trouble among friends?" said a smooth voice, oddly familiar.

The Doctor looked up in surprise as a strange woman with a startling red cloak draped over a shimmering shift that seemed almost entirely fabricated of precious jewels sat down with a flurry of rustling jewelry.

He had barely opened his mouth to exclaim when the woman quickly shushed him by placing a solitary finger over his mouth.

"Hello Sweetie," she said.

* * *

 **Sorry about the cliffhanger, but I will stick to weekly updates, considering I have, um, the other chapter written and that's about it. So yeah. Until next time.**


	8. Chapter 7

**AN: For some reason there were problems with this chapter, but I hopefully fixed them now, and I am writing a totally new author's note for this but hey, that's okay, here it is if you had trouble reading it before.**

* * *

"R-River?" The Doctor stuttered.

She looked around anxiously, and taking his wrist, she whispered, "Not here, not now. Come with me."

"Bu-" the Doctor tried to protest, but River had already pulled him away.

Once outside, River took his hand, typed some coordinates in her vortex manipulator, and they disappeared.

They reappeared in a comfortable looking beach house, with sheer curtains and several wicker chairs.

The Doctor took in a few gasping breaths, glaring at River.

"Don't- do that without warning next time."

"Oh, shut up you, you just think it's attractive and don't want to admit it."

"I do not!" he insisted incredulously, straightening to his full height.

"Oh sweetie, it's so adorable how you think you can intimidate me," she said, plopping down on the couch, and taking a blue journal out of one of the many hiding places within her dress.

"Have we done the Pandorica yet?" River asked, looking up.

The Doctor grimaced slightly, like there was a bitter taste in his mouth, and answered in a slightly acerbic tone, "Yes. This is our second adventure since the wedding."

"So….." River said, standing up and straightening the Doctor's bowtie. "We have some catching up to do."

The Doctor stepped away, and, in a tone that was harsher than intended, said, "What are you doing here, River? I don't have time for this. I need to find my friends."

River, instead of getting that offended pout like she so often did, grew serious.

"That's exactly why I'm here Doctor."

"What?" the Doctor asked, confused.

"To save you." She said gravely.

River looked down at her watch, and gave a mysterious smile.

"Later, sweetie," she said, blowing the Doctor a kiss and disappearing with the pressing of a few buttons.

"Wait-" The Doctor cried out; but he was just crying into thin air.

He started panicking.

Why was River there to _save_ him?

How did she know?

 _Why_ did she know?

What-

But his last thought was cut off by the cool steel point of a needle entering his skin near the neck.

And he crumpled to the floor in an ungraceful heap of limbs.

The Doctor awoke to the feeling of a cool steel blade sliding across his chest.

He gasped a little, blearily opening his eyes.

There was a figure, hooded and cloaked, standing over him, holding him down with a spiked metal boot that dug into his skin.

"You are surprisingly strong," said a cool, smooth voice. "Most would have been out longer, and would have been screaming in pain by the time the first blade hit their skin, even if they were unconscious." There was a pause in the speech. "But I see you are different."

The Doctor barely managed to gasp out a response, as the blade continued writing something into his skin.

"I got used to it in the years I was alone."

A cool, dry laugh escaped his captor.

He leaned down to whisper in the Doctor's ear.

"Well now you are alone, aren't you?" There was a little intake of breath. "This is for the pain. Sleep tight."

Another needle was inserted into the Doctor's skin.

And he faded once more into restless blackness.

When the Doctor woke up, he first felt a growing pain in his chest.

 _Poison_ his brain soon registered. _It was poisoned._

He looked down at his chest, and sighed weakly, gently lowering his aching head back to the floor.

It was oozing pus and blood, and seemingly hadn't ceased much from the weakness brought on by the drugs and poison.

And, worse of all, it was his name.

Doctor.

In Gallifreyan.

As his muddled mind slowly realize his situation, he sat bolt upright.

"Ponds," he gasped. "What have they done to you?"

He forced himself upright, ignoring the blade marks across his chest.

Black spots swam in front of the Doctor's eyes, but he ignored them. Forfeiting the idea of going back to the TARDIS and feeling her anger, he instead decided to go on as he was.

He almost considered getting his suit, but then again, to them he could just be a drunken stranger.

He gasped from the pain of old memories.

 _Rose_ his mind supplied.

He could almost smell her sweet perfume, touch her blond hair. For a moment he imagined that she was there, laughing with him.

Then the Doctor snapped out of it, and there he was back in this room.

"Okay," he muttered to himself, "I'm okay. Always okay. King of- oh that's rubbish, making up titles I don't even deserve. The main question is- where am I?"

He stumbled to the window, trying to see through the curtains.

" _Oh_ ," he gasped. "River was leading- me- _to_ \- them."

He ran clumsily back into one of the bedroom, rummaging through the drawers. They were all empty, except one, which contained a note on top of a T-shirt. Tearing off the note, he pulled the T-shirt over his head.

His companions would have laughed at his appearance now.

He almost looked….. _normal._

He rushed to the door, fumbling with the doorknob.

Tripping out, he was overcome by a fresh wave of pain.

He doubled over in pain, retching over and over again as his body attempted to reject the poison it had been given.

He half imagined iron manacles holding him in place, and- and…..

"No," he mumbled to himself. "Not now."

Uncurling from the fetal position he had assumed and wiping the vomit off his chin, he staggered to his feet.

A flashback sent him clutching his head and trying to stay upright.

 _Too much to drink?_

 _Yeah, something like that._

 _NO,_ he said, his mind betraying him. _Keep GOING._

"There should be some- some. Oh. Yes. Right. Big thingamagig outside… yes. Only question is: How the heck am I supposed to get inside?"

Another wave of pain had him on the ground again, coughing and retching violently, bringing up only bile.

Wiping his chin once more, he straightened.

He surveyed his target.

It was a large center, designed to look like a restaurant in that area- or, as far as he knew, it WAS a restaurant- just with other alien purposes.

So- the front door approach.

Lovely.

He rubbed his hands together.

He hadn't gotten to do his front door approach in what seemed like forever- even though it probably wasn't that long ago. Since the Pand-.

 _THAT won't do_ he thought.

He tried doing one of his characteristic goofy smiles- except every movement hurt and it turned into a grimace of pain.

 _Oh well_ he thought _I'm basically drunk anyway- if only in a different sense. I'll fit right in._

He staggered over to the restaurant.

The sun was just starting to set- not too early then, for him to be completely and utterly stoned.

The Doctor laughed grimly.

 _And here we go._

He threw open the doors to the restaurant.

"Hello everyone," he slurred, and promptly collapsed to the floor as pain wracked his frame in waves.


	9. Chapter 8

**AN: I'm so, so sorry I am not abandoning this story, just life and things, craziness, the usual. So yeah. I have the next chapter written I think so it shouldn't be a wait. Okay... Here we go. If this is horrible, I'm sorry. I own nothing.**

* * *

The first thing the Doctor registered as he awoke was that there was an insistent pain in his head and the familiar feel of cool iron around his wrists.

He rolled his eyes.

"Can't you all think of anything more ingenious than manacles? Come on."

He immediately regretted the words as he went into a seizure from the poison.

He raised his head back up, panting, a mixture of blood and spittle left on his lips.

There was a cool laugh and a woman's voice cut through the Doctor's blackness- opening his eyes hurt too much.

"Here you are, the mighty Doctor, weakened by a mere cut," the obviously female voice sighed, sounding a little disappointed. "I expected better of you, from the Monk's report. Oh well. I shall still have quite a lot of fun with you before you die," she laughed wickedly. "For example, I know exactly where to press on your manacles to make you have another seizure- which, even if you survive this, repeated seizures might have a debilitating effect on that wonderful brain of yours," she sighed gleefully. "What a SHAME that would be. But," and here the voice became mock-serious, "I forget my manners. I am Madam Kovarian. The lovely man you had the pleasure of meeting is one of the Headless Monks. His name is of no importance to you."

"What," the Doctor winced, his voice sore from disuse, feeling the pain tingling at the base of his spine. "Have you done with Amy and Rory?" he almost went into another seizure, but he forced the urge back. He WOULD conquer his pain.

Kovarian laughed bitterly.

"That is no concern of yours. Much longer, nothing will be any concern of yours," she leaned in closer to the Doctor's face, so he could almost feel her breath. "Because you're going to be dead."

The Doctor would have flinched, but he was too weak and numb with pain to do anything that would not trigger another seizure.

The door slammed.

Kovarian turned around suddenly.

A more welcome female voice rang out.

"Not if I have anything to do about it," a Scottish voice rang out.

"Or me," Rory's welcome voice followed.

"Okay, okay, enough with introductions, let's get this party started," River said.

A shot rang out and the Doctor winced from the sound of the impact. A body crumpled with it.

Rory stepped gingerly around the body. "Is she-"

"No," River cut in, "Just unconscious," she turned to the Doctor, gently stroking his fevered forehead, "Oh sweetie," she murmured, "What have they done to you?"

"M'fine," the Doctor slurred, trying to reassure her.

"Oh yeah," River answered sarcastically. "Just poisoned and about to die and all you can say is you're fine."

"That's about the Doctor for you," Amy called over her shoulder from her position at the door. "We need to go soon. I already can hear soldiers moving," she added.

"Sweetie, I need your sonic. Can you tell me where it is?" River cooed, in a voice softer than she normally would use.

"In- my left pocket," the Doctor said weakly.

As River lightly brushed against his chest to get to his left pocket, the Doctor barely suppressed a groan and resisted the urge to vomit again.

"Shh," River soothed, "You're going to make it."

She grabbed the sonic and quickly undid the manacles.

The Doctor collapsed weakly into her arms.

"Amy! Rory! Little help here!" River called.

The Ponds quickly came over to support the Doctor between themselves.

"Sweetie, look at me," River requested softly.

The Doctor weakly raised his head and opened his eyes.

The sight of them tore through River's heart.

They were glazed, unfocused, unseeing, devoid of all the life and vivacity that normally filled them.

Gulping down her unshed tears, River asked him, "Can you make it if I use the Vortex Manipulator to get back to the TARDIS?"

The Doctor nodded slowly then let his head fall back down.

He went limp.

"Okay," River said, "We have to do this quickly. Everyone link arms."

Amy rolled her eyes. "Like we have a choice on that."

River ignored her, and typing the coordinates into the vortex manipulator, caused them all to disappear as soon as soldiers came rushing into the room.

The TARDIS hummed in anger and concern as they reappeared in the console room.

"Oh, gosh, he's stopped breathing," River said nervously, tugging at her hair, "What do I do, Rory?"  
Rory grabbed her wrist and looked her in the eye. "Let me do this, River."

He quickly kneeled by the Doctor, doing CPR quickly and silently, interspersed with periods of mouth to mouth respiration.

After what seemed like ages, even though it was a matter of moments, Rory breathed a sigh of relief.

"He's breathing again, though shallowly. What he really needs is an antidote." He turned to River, "Can you help me carry him to the med bay?" She nodded nervously. He nodded briskly back and turned to Amy, "And you, just look beautiful." He smiled softly at her. Amy smiled slightly back.

Between him and River, the Doctor, who was surprisingly a dead weight in their arms, was brought to the med bay.

Once in there, River seemed more calm and comfortable.

While Rory stared bewildered at the foreign medicines, River picked out the antidote easily.

She quickly filled a syringe and handed it to Rory.

"Here," she grinned slightly, "Use this."

"Thanks," Rory said, taking it bewilderedly and inserting it into the Doctor's vein.

He was relieved to hear the Doctor's breaths get deeper and his pulse get stronger as the syringe was slowly released.

"The Doctor's just asleep now," Rory announced.

Amy sighed in relief.

"Mind if I'm the only one there when he wakes up?" River asked.

"Not at all," said Amy, winking, and shooing a confused Rory out.

When they were alone, River slowly caressed the Doctor's floppy hair.

She thought about the amount of pain he had been in- and was still in undoubtedly- and winced a little.

This man deserved so much.

And yet he got so little of what he should.

River sighed, shaking her head.

Suddenly she remembered how much pain her light touch against the Doctor's chest had caused him, and gasped a little at the realization.

"Oh, they wouldn't dare," she said.

She gently cut open his shirt.

The inside was caked with blood and pus.

But then she saw the symbol.

Tears gathered in her eyes.

The cut was deep and infected and she remembered Kovarian's words to the Doctor that she had overheard.

 _I expected better of you, from the monk's report._

"How could he not show pain while they were doing THIS to him?" she whispered.

She could feel the TARDIS' anger pulsing in the back of her mind at what they had done to her thief.

Sighing, River got some ointment and gauze from among the TARDIS medical supplies.

First, she cleaned the wound gently with alcohol, gently wiping the caked blood away.

The Doctor whimpered a little in his sleep, tossing and turning with fever.

River wet a cloth and put it on his forehead, hoping to assuaged the aftereffects of the poison.

She went back to the cut, spreading ointment in soothing waves across the cut, and finished by laying soft gauze down. She could bandage it when he could sit up for her to wrap it around him.

Then she sat down to wait.

* * *

 **If River is a little OOC, I'm sorry, I've never written for her before. I was kind of going for a softer side of her- I mean, she obviously loves the Doctor and I'm pretty sure the effect him being hurt or in pain would have on her would be fairly great- she is his wife after all- so I tried to make it still River without being weird. So yeah. Thanks for reading!**


	10. Chapter 9

**AN: Oh, gosh, life. I don't even know how else to say it. Anyone else feeling me? Anyways, not dead, problems fixed and solved on this story, and I am BACK... a day late, but hey, it's okay, right? A week is relative... Here you go, apologies in advance for any horrible or OOC writing, I own nothing, etc., etc...**

* * *

When the Doctor finally opened his eyes, he panicked- seeing the white ceiling, he thought he was in a hospital.

When the TARDIS sent a soothing hum through his mind, however, he relaxed and tried to sit up.

Soft hands pushed him back down.

The Doctor blinked, trying to bring the world into focus.

"River?" he asked blearily.

"Hello Sweetie," she smiled softly down at him.

He looked back down at his bandaged chest.

The Doctor took in a sharp breath. "Did you- you didn't see- you- you-" he trailed off.

River sighed. "When are you going to learn you can't hide from me?" she asked, brushing back his hair gently.

There was a short pause, then River asked, "Could you sit up a little for me, I need to bandage your torso."

"Really River, that's not necessary," the Doctor protested weakly, but River gave such a convincing pout that he gave in.

He tried to prop himself up on his elbows, but he soon fell back from the effort.

Waves of dizziness assailed his brain.

"River- help," he pleaded.

Hearing the Doctor sound so weak, and practically begging for help, made River fall in love with him even more.

"It's okay," she reassured, "Can you have the TARDIS raise the bed up a little- maybe that would help."

The TARDIS gladly responded by raising the Doctor slowly into a sitting position.

He winced a little, but quickly covered it up with a mask of perfect calm.

River pushed the Doctor a little away from the back of the chair and began to wrap.

As she bandaged his torso, she noticed how much more his bones jutted out than when she had last seen him at the Pandorica. He almost seemed malnourished. If that in itself wasn't worrying enough, she saw numerous other bruises discoloring his body, and scars that were marring his skin.

When River was done, the Doctor sat back in relief.

"Thank you," he murmured to River, closing his eyes.

A comfortable silence ensued.

"River?" the Doctor finally asked.

"Yes, Sweetie?" River questioned.

"How did you know to come here?" When River did not immediately answer, the Doctor went on. "You said you were there to save my life. How did you know?"

River just smiled.

"You are how I knew," she said simply.

When the Doctor furrowed his brow in confusion, she sighed, and, planting a kiss on his forehead, answered, "Spoilers."

After a moment, River said, "I need to call your companions in here. They will want to know you are alive and well."

When the Doctor paled for a moment, looking down at his naked torso and back at River in alarm, she rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry, I'll help you get dressed."

The Doctor sighed in relief.

Before leaving to fetch clothes, River whispered in the Doctor's ear, "You shouldn't be so afraid you know."

As soon as River walked out of the room, she was met with worried glances from Amy and Rory. She smiled reassuringly at them.

"Just getting him some clothes. He can see you after that though."

Seeing Rory's slightly worried and confused face at the prospect of her seeing the Doctor naked, she laughed.

"Spoilers," she answered and started walking away.

When Rory looked at Amy, she just shrugged nonchalantly.

"We'll find out soon enough. Oh, and River, if you're decent you'll get him some normal clothes," Amy called.

A laugh was the only response.

"Nah," River said. "The bowtie's silly and a tiny bit sexy," she paused moment before adding, "And how am I supposed to kiss him if I can't grab onto his suspenders?"

Rory's ears reddened slightly, but Amy just rolled her eyes.

Not much time had passed before River returned to the med bay to find the Doctor in a restless sleep.

River felt his forehead.

He was burning up, no doubt in the throws of a fevered dream.

She sighed and wet another cloth to put over his forehead.

She dabbed the sweat gently off his face.

River had never felt this protective of her Doctor.

It was an odd feeling.

She never got too attached to people if she could help it; she knew inevitably, with the life she lived, they could be gone.

But this- this was different.

The bond she had with the Doctor was a life and death relationship- she would give her life for him, and he knew it.

So seeing the Doctor this way- so utterly broken- crumbled all the walls of security she had set in place.

Sighing wistfully, she kissed him lightly on his forehead.

The Doctor visibly relaxed, his eyes fluttering gently open.

River smiled slightly down at him.

"Hello Sweetie," she crooned softly, "Can you sit up for me so I can help you get dressed?"

The Doctor reddened slightly, turning his head away in embarrassment.

"You're not my mum, River. I can dress myself," he muttered.

She crossed her arms.

"You know, I could let you try to do it yourself and watch you scream in pain," she said mischievously.

"Okay, okay," the Doctor said, throwing up his hands and immediately regretting the decision as he scrunched up his nose at the pain. "I give in."

So he let River gently slide his arms through the sleeves of his shirt.

She gingerly buttoned the Doctor's shirt, her face lined with worry every time he grunted in pain.

By the time River had finished dressing the Doctor, he was soaked with sweat and weary with exhaustion.

River looked down at him, and gently mopped his brow with a cool cloth.

"Shhh," she soothed. "I'll get Rory."

"No," the Doctor groaned. "He- doesn't need to see me like this," he finished, panting from exertion.

"Sweetie," River said, "He's a nurse- there's only so much I can do without his help."

The Doctor was in no state to argue, so the Ponds were ushered in.

As they came in, the Doctor tried to get to a sitting position, but he ended up weakly flopping down onto the bed.

Rory was soon at the Doctor's side, examining him in concern.

Rory looked up a River quizzically.

"When did he get worse?" he whispered.

"When I came back in after getting clothes," River answered, concerned. "Why?"

Rory simply sighed, shaking his head, and beckoning for River to follow him, left Amy at the Doctor's side.

"What's wrong with him?" River asked once they were alone.

Rory sighed tiredly. "I suppose just the aftereffects of the poison. It shouldn't be this bad though," he paused for a moment, looking at River. "Are you sure there isn't anything you aren't telling me?"

River bit her lip.

"He did have quite a bad cut on his chest," she responded.

 _There_ she thought _I can reveal part of the truth without giving it all away._

Rory groaned. "And I assume it's infected as well. Why didn't you tell me?"

River shrugged. "I didn't think it was important," after a pause, she relented, "Also, I don't think he would have you look at it anyway."

Rory mumbled, half to himself, "Well it will be one heck of a long week unless he lets me look at it."

He turned back to River, "Do you think you could convince him to let me look at it?" he almost pleaded.

River nodded, pursing her lips.

Amy reluctantly stepped away from the Doctor as the others came back, shooting a pleading pout at Rory.

"Doctor?" River asked.

 _Oh no_ the Doctor thought _she only calls me Doctor when she really, REALLY needs something._

"Yes," he said, cringing at how weak and helpless he sounded.

"Can you let Rory do a full examination?" she asked. "Please?" she added for emphasis.

The betrayal and hurt that came into the Doctor's eyes nearly broke River's resolve.

"No," the Doctor said bluntly, adamantly.

"Sweetie…" River whined.

Rory sighed. He saw how hopeless the situation was getting, so he said to Amy and River, "You two, out. I'll handle this.

They complied eventually, albeit with some complaining and protests.

Once the door closed, Rory addressed the Doctor.

"Hey," he said, placing a hand on the Doctor's shoulder, "How are you doing?"

"I hate this," the Doctor said, "I hate knowing you have to take care of me. I hate knowing that I am a burden to everyone simply because I am too incompetent to take care of myself. And most of all, I hate the pity. I hate that you stay and take care of me because I don't deserve any of it."

Soft sobs wracked the Doctor's thin frame as he curled over on himself; whether from pain or embarrassment or both, Rory wasn't sure.

 _He looks so young_ Rory thought _and yet so old. He looks tired and worn, like he has been stretched too thin. He can't take it._

"Hey," Rory soothed, crouching down on the Doctor's level, gently rubbing circles over his back. He felt like he was soothing a child after a nightmare. "If you curl in on yourself it will make it hurt more. Let me take a look, okay?"

The Doctor slowly straightened, wiping his tears hurriedly with the back of his hand, still burying his face in the pillow.

Rory gently eased his clothes off him, one by one.

When he finally got down to the gauze, he winced in sympathy.

It was discolored a yellowish green, interspersed with a few dark splotches where blood had leaked through.

"What did they do to you?" Rory asked through clenched teeth.

"Nothin'," the Doctor mumbled through the pillow.

Rory sighed, shaking his head, and began to gently peel the gauze off.

He was interrupted, however, by slight whimpers of pain from the Doctor.

"Relax a little," Rory requested, "It will make the pain more bearable," there was a pause before he added, "I can also get you something for the pain if you'll tell me what."

The Doctor shook his head, determined, as always, to be stronger than he really was.

"I'm good, carry on," he said, rolling over onto his back to make it easier for him to relax and Rory to peel off the rest of the gauze.

Rory eyed him doubtfully but carried on anyway.

When Rory finally peeled it all off, the Doctor clenched his jaw at Rory's exclamation of horror.

"Okay, I thought I had seen it all," Rory said, throwing up his hands. "But I guess I need more of an explanation, because THIS, this- MONSTROSITY is NOT what I had an expectation of finding."

The Doctor cringed inwardly at the anger in Rory's words. He had never heard him so enraged.

"And so help me," Rory continued, "If you won't tell me I will drag River in hear and MAKE her tell me.

"Okay," the Doctor half mumbled, collecting his thoughts. "Okay," he said a little louder, "They may have carved my name in Gallifreyan on my skin."

"Just maybe," Rory scoffed, "You know, you may be able to sound so flippant, but oh- what I would do- just to get them back for what they did."

The Doctor winced. There was a small pause where Rory fumed in silence before the Doctor asked, "Are you mad at me then?"

Rory looked down at the innocence in his face, the expectation of retribution. He thought he deserved punishment.

"No," Rory said softly, "I'm just mad at them because they did this to you."

The Doctor visibly relaxed.

"Okay," Rory said briskly, his anger over and his nurse instincts taking over. "I'll need some ointment, fresh gauze, and some pain medicines you can take. Is this what river used?" Rory asked, picking up a bottle of ointment that was lying on the table next to the Doctor.

He nodded.

Soon the Doctor was re-bandaged- and, at Rory's insistence, in comfortable pajamas.

Rory called the others in, and took them into a corner.

"Okay, we'll need to take watches. Amy, why don't you take the first watch- he's probably least mad at you- you've done nothing to him so far today."

Amy nodded, and the rest of them quietly filed out, leaving them behind in soft darkness.

Amy noticed there was a bed for her there, made by the TARDIS- and the ceiling was a perfect projection of the galaxies above them.

"Hey, Raggedy Man," she said softly, sitting down beside him. "How you feeling?"

The Doctor led out a shaky sigh. "Unbelievably tired," he answered.

Amy just nodded. "Get some shut eye then- I think I will too. It's been a long day.

The Doctor smiled up at her.

"Good night, Pond."

She smiled back.

"Good night Raggedy Man."

Soon Amy drifted off into sweet dreams.

* * *

 **AN: A little more fluffy stuff in there, I hope you enjoyed it! I kind of have part of Chapter 10 written, and next week is finals, so, you know the deal- life impedes updates, etc... So don't expect next week's update necessarily to happen. Sorry! Until next time...**


	11. Chapter 10

**AN: Not dead... Maybe brain dead, because finals, but they are OVER and I will finally be updating regularly again hopefully! Although I cannot guarantee anything...**

 **Shorter chapter this time, but I had a nice long chapter last time so it's okay (I hope). A little Doctor/River fluff and no warnings for this chapter except if you don't like Doctor/River fluff than beware, Doctor/River fluff ahead! And that was really repetitive and long and I am rambling by this point. So I don't own anything except my plot bunnies- weird phrase, plot bunnies- and without farther ado... here it is!**

* * *

The Doctor lay awake long after he heard Amy's soft snores.

Eventually he tried swinging his legs over the hospital bed- but an overwhelming, sharp pain in his chest left him stifling groans.

He gingerly put his legs back onto the bed and lay back down, sweating from the exertion.

He talked into the mental link with the TARDIS.

 _Hey Old Girl_ he whispered _strap me down._

When the TARDIS hesitated briefly, a questioning concern emanating from her, he said somewhat gruffly _I know, just do it._

Slowly the TARDIS put barriers up around his bed and fastened cloth restraints around his wrists; but the Doctor could still feel her hesitation.

The Doctor sighed, settling back gently onto his pillows.

It would be a long, uncomfortable night, but at least he couldn't hurt anyone.

Satisfied, he gradually drifted off to sleep.

When River came to wake Amy later that night, the Doctor was still sleeping, albeit restlessly. River was surprised, but she didn't mention anything to a very tired Amy as she ushered her out of the med bay, back to her husband…

And their unfortunate bunk beds.

River looked down at the Doctor.

She sighed softly when she saw the cloth restraints.

 _Did you go along with this?_ River asked the TARDIS.

The TARDIS radiated sheepishness; but she gave River access to their conversation, if it could be called that.

River sighed.

 _Your thief is so worried about others that he never stops for himself. You're there to make sure he does. Okay, Old Girl?_ River said to the TARDIS.

She hummed in affirmation.

River went and stood by the Doctor.

She gently undid his restraints and had the TARDIS hide them again.

River could see the Doctor visibly relax as soon as the restraints were gone.

She would wait until he woke up.

She would always wait for him until that inevitable day when he never knew her.

That would be that day she would stop running.

Until then…

He was hers.

The Doctor could feel a weight diminishing from around his wrists. He murmured in his sleep. Slowly his eyes blinked open, taking in the white room and River's nearby form.

He sat up, wincing a little but glad he could at least prop himself up on his elbows without crumpling back onto the mattress.

River turned around, rolling her eyes in a fond sort of way.

"Oh, you bad, bad boy," she said, with a little less of the mischievous lilt than usual, but still in her characteristic tone.

The Doctor sighed.

"Hello to you too."

River tilted her head. "You know you could just have the TARDIS raise the bed for you."

The Doctor started objecting, but she raised a finger and continued, saying, "But you always want to do it the hard way, don't you?"

The Doctor smiled, a little tiredly.

"Of course," he said. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

River ran her finger up his chest to tweak his bowtie.

The Doctor shivered a little, squeezing his eyes shut momentarily as memories resurfaced.

She raised an eyebrow, but made no comment.

It was better to be silent. He would not do well having her fuss over him like a mother hen.

There was a momentary lull in the conversation before the Doctor asked her, "When did I tell you I needed saved?"

When River tried to look innocent and confused, the Doctor sighed in fond exasperation.

"I know it was me who told you- and in all honesty, I might as well know when and where so you do in fact save me and I'm not, instead, dead right in Kovarian's torture chamber for them to dissect me and discover interesting facts about Time Lord biology."

River chuckled. "Someone's blunt today," she said. "Although," she added as an afterthought, "It is quite cute."

The Doctor snorted. "I am NOT cute, and you, River Song, are ignoring my question quite deliberately."

"And what are you going to do about it?" River asked with a teasing lilt to her voice.

The Doctor sighed. "Unfortunately I can't do anything because you saved my life."

River laughed.

"Okay," she conceded, "You win."

The Doctor smiled triumphantly.

"But don't get used to the feeling, because this is one of the few arguments we have had that I will actually admit you win," River said.

The Doctor huffed disappointedly.

"And it's only because you are sick and pitiful," she added mischievously.

When the Doctor started to object that he was NOT sick _or_ pitiful, or even _cute_ , River raised her hand.

"Nevertheless, I agreed to tell you how I came to be there, so I will tell you," she paused before adding, "And if you interrupt, I swear I will not let you win an argument from this moment forward. Deal?"

"Deal," the Doctor grumbled grudgingly, determined to be silent at least in hope that he had a chance of winning their next argument.

And so River began her tale.

* * *

 **I apparently like cliff hangers, but I have in mind what I want to write next, so hey, it's okay. The next chapter will focus on River's story (I think) and not making the Doctor's timeline go crazy and not making him die in some evil way... you know, the general plot line of Doctor Who or, if you want to narrow it down, the Big Bang II if you are talking about making the timelines go crazy. And I am rambling again, so I will see you guys later and until then have fun, enjoy the break off school if you are in school, and have a good time doing things with family!**


	12. Chapter 11

**AN: Hi guys! I'm on time this week. Yay! Okay, this was kind of awkward to write because honestly, it's hard to imagine the Doctor lying down in bed for any long period of time and have someone talking down at him. So if this is awkward or choppy, I'm really sorry. There is some more River/Doctor fluffiness at the end. No real warnings, and, as always, I own nothing. Enjoy!**

* * *

"I was in Stormcage," River began. "Which is fairly standard, I'm sure, but hear me out, because you might be surprised. When a soldier came to my cell, I thought it was peculiar. I never have visitors, or messages- at least standard, _legal_ ones," with this she winked at the Doctor, causing him to blush slightly. "He seemed wary of me, which I suppose was warranted- I caused enough trouble after the Pandorica, I'm sure, with the whole lipstick ordeal."

The Doctor groaned at the reference to his wife's devices at that particular event and River laughed.

"Did I ever tell you how adorable you are when you're in pain?" she commented.

The Doctor gave an exasperated look that said _Continue with the story WITHOUT the flirting, please_ so River complied to his unspoken plea and began again.

"The guard handed me a large packet, mumbling something about the imprudence of written communication anymore, and hurried away. I expected the letter inside in the least to be written in your handwriting, but it was written in the long, flowing script characterizing one of high class and noble birth." River took the message out of her characteristic dress that she had apparently changed back into after their unfortunate first meeting on the planet. "It reads as follows:

 _Miss Song,_

 _On account of the empress of the Aureī Insulae, I must ask your presence for tea on April 25th, 1987 to discuss matters of some importance, I think, to you both. Enclosed is your vortex manipulator. I convinced the people here to let you have it. Do not take the privilege lightly. Also enclosed is a dress. It would do well for you to change before meeting her highness. The coordinates are already typed into the manipulator. If they are wrong, there will be a high price to pay for the incompetence of the guards of Stormcage. The empress eagerly awaits your presence._

There was no signature. The dress was the dress you saw me wearing when we first met. Naturally, I was curious, so I quickly changed and left for the coordinates entered," here River smiled, remembering. "I found myself in a wide palace corridor. A slave ushered me into a side parlor, where the empress was. But with her was another person, a person whom I would not have expected to meet in that particular place. You."

"You mean I have to go BACK?" the Doctor asked, incredulous.

"Yes," River said, smiling mischievously. "But you get to see me before ever seeing me. Isn't that worth something?"

The Doctor sighed at the prospect of re-entering that planet, but nodded anyway.

River continued, saying, "The empress left quickly, and you and I were left alone. And I suppose you can guess the rest of what occurred."

They sat in silence for a while before the Doctor asked, softly, "When do you leave me?"

River's eyes softened a little.

"Oh Sweetie," she crooned, "When will you stop running away from me, assuming I'll never come back every time I leave?"

The Doctor looked down, and for a moment didn't answer.

Then he said, "You're right, you know."

"Hm?" River asked.

"That I'm always afraid you'll never come back. Because so many don't. And you know as well as I that eventually I will never know you. And you also know that is the day you'll stop running. But when I see you never know me… that may just be the day that I stop too. So yes, I am running away from the times we meet. Because I don't want to leave either."

River smiled, smoothing his hair back from his face and kissing his forehead gently.

"But for now, that day will never come. Because I'm here with you now."

The Doctor smiled, and relaxing a little, fell asleep once more under her watchful eye.

The next morning- as far as mornings go on the TARDIS- Rory walked in to the med bay to find River had chosen to fall asleep not on her own bed, but nuzzled right next to the Doctor on his bed with her hand resting gently on his chest. Rory's cheeks flushed in embarrassment, and he stood there unsure what to do.

Of course the Doctor chose that precise moment to wake up, blearily opening his eyes. He glanced down at River, and then back at Rory helplessly. His wide, panicked eyes showed him to be as confused as Rory about the situation.

Finally the Doctor eased the tension by saying, "Just- don't tell Amy. Please?"

"Don't tell Amy what?" Amy asked, walking into the scene.

She caught sight of Rory and the Doctor's nervous expressions and the Doctor's current position and burst out into giggles.

"Oh- that," she said in between spurts of laughter. "You know, you two should form a 'I don't know what to do when it comes to any sort of love life' club."

Rory flushed a deeper shade of red and the Doctor looked about as pale as a china doll, which of course made Amy laugh even harder.

In the middle of all this, River woke up, rolling her eyes at the boy's faces.

"Really, you two, you'd think I had committed the most heinous crime that could ever be committed in the galaxy by the looks on your faces," she said, rolling off the Doctor's bed.

"Oi!" said the Doctor, "You weren't the one who woke up to your companion's face and a woman's hand lying on your chest!"

"Really, Sweetie, did you expect any less of me?" River countered with a mischievous look.

Amy collapsed into another fit of hysteric giggles.

"Come on, Stupid Face," she said, winking at the couple and dragging Rory out of the room. "Let's leave these two love birds to their devices."

Inside Amy was rejoicing

Her boys were back to normal- or as normal as they would ever be- and her Raggedy Doctor was happy.

And that made her happy.

* * *

 **Okay, a few notes in case anyone was confused.**

 **One, with the letter, people might be confused as who actually wrote it. It was not the empress herself, as evidenced by the words used, but I was thinking more of a personal slave to the empress who was used to writing letters for the queen, or invitations and stuff like that. So the identification of the person is not really important- it's just some person who wrote the letter for the queen basically.**

 **Two, in reference to the Doctor being afraid of River leaving- I know it wasn't necessarily canon, but I feel like the Doctor would be actually afraid of stopping meeting her. If you have watched Eleven's last episodes, when he made out with "River"- who was kind of dead and invisible- he mentioned that she was never dead to him. So I kind of drew from that that the Doctor was afraid of River never knowing him because that would mean he could never really see her again. And he really loved River, and once she was gone, the last part of his connection to his Ponds was gone. Of course, the Doctor didn't know that now, that's just what I drew it from. Plus, their time is limited, so he would take every opportunity he could to see her.**

 **Three, I feel like the Doctor at this point is still kind of awkward in his relationship with River, and that's why I wrote him being embarrassed to find River literally snuggled next to him. And I feel like, even though Rory doesn't know River is his daughter at this point, he is still the kind of person to be a little awkward with relationships and thus doesn't know what to think about the Doctor being in one. And, of course, Amy is Amy, so with her natural flirtatious nature, she would find the character of "her boys" quite hilarious and cute and relate completely with River.**

 **That was really long, and I'm sorry. I will see you next time! :)**


	13. Chapter 12

**AN: Okay, okay, I have NO excuse. I know it was Christmas break and I should have written more but I didn't get inspiration until last night and THEN my mom told me to go to bed and I really didn't want to argue and bed felt so good I just didn't feel like moving to write any more... BUT, I am back and hopefully back on schedule. I should have time to write this week but I'm not sure... Busy teenager excuses (that may or may not include reading nerdy school things that aren't required for me to do yet...) Yep. I'm a nerd. A major nerd. It's okay though... Anyway, back to the story...**

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The Doctor was still blushing watching his Ponds leave before he turned on River.

"You didn't have to do that," he hissed.

"Sweetie, we're married," River said, rolling her eyes. "Calm down."

The Doctor ran his hands down his face, attempting to give her a glare but failing miserably.

"Why is it that I find you so irresistibly attractive?" he asked, groaning.

River winked at him.

"Because we are total opposites," she stated simply.

"You're a bad influence, you know that?" the Doctor told her.

"Oh, you have no idea," River scoffed. "But that's what you like."

The Doctor stood up so he was more at her height.

"You're impossible," the Doctor muttered, looking her in the eye.

"I know," she whispered slyly, fiddling with his bowtie.

"But," River continued, "Now that you have a job to do, it is my time to leave."

She leaned in, whispering some coordinates in his ear, and disappeared with a zap.

The Doctor sighed, staring sadly at the place she had been.

His shoulders slumped slightly.

Yes, he was about to go see her again.

But every time she left was another day wasted.

And he hated it.

Sighing and straightening his shoulders, readjusting the face smile on his face, the Doctor went to find his Ponds in the kitchen.

"So," the Doctor said as he entered, giddy excitement filling his face, "I have a quick stop to make so that I DON'T die later, and very painfully at that, from the paradox of River NOT saving me when she HAD saved me, and then we can go HOPEFULLY some place where I won't have another near death experience."

"Doctor?" Amy asked.

"Yes?" he questioned, turning towards her.

"Where's River?"

The Doctor faltered for a moment before answering slowly, "Wellllll, long story short, she left."

He gave a bitter smile, looking down before looking back up and saying, "But that's not the point, Pond. You two get breakfast, get ready, and whatever you do in the mornings, while I go take care of- stuff."

The Doctor charged out the door, stopping only to call back, "Oh, and don't even think about trying to wander outside. The doors will be locked and there is no way for them to be unlocked from the inside."

Once in the console room, the TARDIS sent a worried hum through the Doctor's mind that clearly said _Are you sure you're ready?_

The Doctor sighed, running a hand through his hair as the ship's wheezing noise came to a close.

 _As ready as I'll ever be, Old Girl_ he answered.

And with that he threw open the TARDIS doors to be met with a warm salty ocean wind.

A large ornate stone castle came into view.

He strode up to the doors, where guards blocked his way.

"Hello," he said, pulling out the psychic paper. "John Smith, here to meet her majesty. You'll find a written note complete with signature there."

The guard nodded, bowing and leading him through.

"This way, sire," he said.

He led the Doctor all the way to the throne room, where he opened the door and said, "Here I leave you. And uh, sir, even if you are here on written notice from the empress, good luck."

The Doctor nodded briskly, walking through the door.

He broke out into a wide grin upon seeing the woman on the throne.

"Empress Renee Anne Felicity, how lovely to see you again," he announced with a proud bow.

"Doctor?" she stuttered. "What are you doing here?"

"Ah," he answered, looking down. "Now that is a story to tell."

"Well," she composed herself briskly, standing up. "I believe I have time for that. Follow me."

The Doctor was led into a side parlor with lush furniture and paintings lining the walls.

"Have a seat," she answered.

"Now, Doctor," the empress addressed him, "When I last saw you at the dawn of our civilization, you were just coming out of the Time War, mourning the loss of your race and looking to do some good in the world."

The Doctor laughed bitterly. "Yeah, seen a bit more since then, regenerated twice actually. And your civilization has matured a bit. I remember the wars at the start of this, your father's death, and how reluctant you were to carry on. But look at this now," he said, gesticulating at the room. "Quite an accomplishment if I do say so myself."

The Empress smiled. "Yes, I'm still getting used to the ruling factor. I don't quite approve of the enslavement part, but the people are set in their ways and the last remnants of that great civilization so ruined by the Time War are, nonetheless, useful to us."

The Doctor smiled sadly.

"But Doctor, you must have a story to tell, or you would not be here. So please, tell me your purpose, for I am short on time."

"Of course, your highness," the Doctor answered. "Have you heard of Stormcage?"

The Empress frowned, pursing her lips.

"Is it far into our future?"

The Doctor smiled. "Yes. But I had hoped you would have heard of it by now, for it seems there are certain activities going on within your kingdom related to a certain women there by the name of River Song."

Her eyes widened slightly.

"The rumors are true then? That the headless monks have been sighted?"

The Doctor nodded grimly. "I'm afraid so. But there is as of yet nothing you can do about it until later, for unless I wish to mess with my own timeline I cannot tell you much," he paused. "But I can tell you this: I need you to chose one of your slaves to go with me to Stormcage and give a certain River Song there this. I cannot see her this time."

He pulled out the vortex manipulator he had stolen from River last time he had gone to Stormcage to avoid her getting into more trouble with it and also just because he enjoyed triumphing over her in some things at least.

The Empress nodded, ringing a bell for a slave.

"Yes, your highness?" the slave girl questioned, hurrying up.

"I need you to write a letter with these words exactly," the empress said.

After the letter was written, the slave girl gave it to the Doctor.

"Amber," the empress addressed the girl, "I need you to go with the Doctor to deliver this."

She then turned to the Doctor.

"And you WILL come back with my slave in one piece, if you don't mind. Also, find something fit in those wardrobes of yours to meet royalty," she looked him up and down resentfully. "But you never did care about that did you?"

The Doctor smiled mischievously, doing a small bow. "Of course I will find something, madam. After all, I'm not alone," he said, looking down at Amber.

And they walked out the door.

As soon as they entered the TARDIS, the Doctor was met with Amy and Rory's confused faces.

"What are you doing Doctor and who is she?" Amy asked.

"Um," the Doctor answered, "Delivering a message to River Song. And this is Amber, a-" he gulped, "Slave from the Empress' courts. And if you wouldn't mind taking her to the wardrobe, she should be able to find something fit to meet royalty."

Amy gave him a tight lipped smile, as if to say, "We're talking about this later," and then turned to lead the young teen to the wardrobe.

"And Rory?" he asked, turning. "If you go upstairs to your right, in the third door on the left you should find a mail room of large envelopes. Find one- just make sure it's not one that's bigger on the inside then she'll know it's me."

After a time, Amy came back with a dress- the _right_ dress too, if the Doctor remembered correctly, and Rory came back even later with an envelope, muttering something about, "Why is everything bigger on the inside?"

The Doctor nodded his thanks to both of them before sending the girl outside to deliver the message.

"So…." Amy asked. "Why do you need to get River again?"

"So she knows to save me and I don't die," the Doctor mumbled. "Long story, as I told you before."

Amy nodded, opening her mouth to say more but being cut off by Amber running back inside, bewildered.

The Doctor smiled down at her. "A lot to take in, huh?" he asked.

She nodded mutely.

Amy mouthed at the Doctor, "I'll deal with this later," as he began to fly the TARDIS back to the other planet.

Soon the empress heard the Doctor and Amber returning.

The slave girl was in silent awe as she walked in, and the empress gave the Doctor a disapproving smile.

He shrugged a little.

The empress turned to Amber, saying, "You are dismissed."

"Now, Doctor, why are you really here?" she said as soon as the girl had left.

"Well," he answered, scratching his neck, "That's a long story."

He recounted the whole story of River's meeting and rescue, leaving out the more embarrassing bits and being quite vague as to his injuries, summing it all up to "They poisoned and captured me."

He was just finishing when River Song herself walked in.

River froze, a look of surprise overcoming her face.

"Well hello Sweetie," she said, "Never expected to see you here."

"Ah, River Song, I presume?" the Empress greeted cordially.

"Yes, your majesty," River said, doing a small curtsy.

"Well, it looks like you two have quite a lot to catch up, I will just take my leave then," the Empress said, looking between the two before backing out.

As soon as she was out of the room, River turned on the Doctor.

"What, no note and you expect me to turn up here for no reason?" she demanded.

The Doctor looked pleadingly into her eyes.

"Please- I can explain. Just sit, will you?" he sighed.

River conceded, plopping down in a chair.

"I will, this once, but you'd better have a good explanation for not telling me anything."

The Doctor grimaced, saying darkly, "Oh, I do. Trust me."

* * *

 **Okay, a few notes of clarification.**

 **1) The empress met the Doctor's ninth incarnation. She was a young princess at the time. Basically, that planet was affected and the race diminished by the Time War and the corruption mentioned in a previous chapter. The now-Empress' father comes in and takes over the race. The Doctor comes in and is obviously trying to fix the damage from the Time War and finds them in a state of war. He leaves after a bitter row with her father about the issues of slavery. The princess comes to the throne after her father's death, remembering the words of the Doctor to her father about the slaves. She finds the practice distasteful but has basically no way to prevent it because the court and people are against her.**

 **2) The Empress recognized the Doctor immediately because he went by the name John Smith last time, even though her father knew his real name from the stories of the Time War, and she knew about his regenerative abilities, and obviously there are stories from the galaxies abroad because a time traveler leaves his mark. So she knows enough to piece everything together quickly enough to greet him immediately as "Doctor" instead of "Who are you and what are you doing in my court room?"**

 **3) If anyone noticed, the guard told the Doctor good luck before he entered the Empress' chamber. This is because the royalty are seen as "untouchable" and anyone who enters the presence of royalty may or may not be welcomed warmly, and they could be executed. And of course any ruler has their bad days and the guard may not know much about her so if all he has heard are negative things he will assume she is a strict and cruel ruler who kills anyone in her sight...**

 **But yeah, if you have any other questions just let me know. I strive to answer as many as possible here because I know I HATE not having the backstory explained especially if you are doing what I am doing right now and making up your own.**

 **I don't own anything except my plot lines and planets. And of course, who'd want to own Kovarian and the Headless Monks only? I mean, that's totally rubbish. The Doctor on the other hand... ;)**


	14. Chapter 13

**AN: 469 words. This is sad. But I finished the chapter and gave you more closure on the last one. I'm sorry it took so long. Life got in the way. Anyway, please enjoy and if you want, drop a review telling me how I did.**

 **Also, if you want this story to continue and get the final breakdown you want, I need ideas here. Lots of ideas. As I said on the profile, reviews or PMs work to give suggestions. I really want this to continue. I don't want to give up this story. It was my first real multichapter, and I have a sentimental attachment to it. Even if it is crap. So please, please, help me out here. I really need it. Thanks. On with the story...**

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The Doctor let out a long sigh before beginning nervously, eager to get all his information out before River slapped him.

"WELL, under the pretense that we are meeting in reverse, I met a future you who saved me from inevitable death and got me out of a sticky situation, long story, don't have time to tell you how, you should be able to figure it out well enough, but what I do need you to do is go to the Golden Moon at," he glanced at his watch, "6:30, in approximately 10 or so minutes. Don't change clothes until later, when you save me, and yes I know you have them with you, don't try to lie to me, I saw you. After you meet me, take me to these coordinates," here he handed her a piece of paper," and give me these clothes," he handed her the clothes that he had put on later, freshly cleaned and dried by the TARDIS. "After you're done, place the coordinates on the clothes, it's my way back to you, I didn't even realize I had pocketed them, but then again I was half drunk with pain. But," he pointed a finger at her, "All you have to worry about after that is finding Amy and Rory. Any questions, good, didn't think so," he ended, placing a hand on her shoulder before walking out.

River, still in slight shock trying to process all this, stuttered out, "But if you were half dead when I saved you, then that means-" she faltered.

The Doctor smiled a little, sadly.

"Yes," he answered quietly. "Yes it does mean that. But I'm fine, I'm always fine. You should know that."

He walked over and gently planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

And with that he was gone. 

The Doctor walked up to the TARDIS, running his hand over the exterior before going inside.

Amy met the Doctor inside.

"Ah Amy," he said, with forced cheerfulness, his smile never quite meeting his eyes.

"Doctor," Amy began, "do you even know what it's like to take an ordinary girl who has probably never seen anything outside the four walls of the palaces she's a SLAVE at, give her the universe, then leave her with the knowledge that there's everything in the world, in the future, but nothing she can do about it but go back to begin a slave?"

"No," the Doctor muttered, bowing his head in regret, "I wouldn't know."

Amy sighed.

"Just think about that next time you go barging into someone's life. Good night, Doctor."

The Doctor said nothing as Amy left the room.

Grief still pervaded his hearts at her words.

He slumped down in the chair near the console, with his head in his hands, until sleep gradually took him.

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 **Thanks for reading. Leave a review maybe?**


	15. Chapter 14

**AN: Okay. This isn't exactly the emotional ending I was going for... But I am completely out of ideas for continuing the story. Plus, originally, I was only going to have three adventures for them to go on, but the last one went on a bit more than expected, so I decided, well, by now, they probably know that the Doctor's been through some crap and need to reassure him. We already had Amy waking him up from a nightmare, and Rory, the nurse that he is, is probably knowing by now that the Doctor's having some regrets and they aren't helping. And even though he knows sometime they will have to leave, he's making a promise here. We're all in for the moment, and if we leave, it's never for good. Although in the end that wasn't true but shhh... So anyway, this is the end. Thanks for reading. I suppose this could be continued, but I don't believe this to be my best work, as it was my first attempt at a multi-chapter, so... Thanks for all those who followed, favorited, and reviewed. You kept this story alive for a while.**

"Doctor? Doctor!"  
The Doctor woke up to Amy and Rory's worried faces.  
"Mm?" He mumbled, trying to wake up.  
He hadn't had this much sleep in decades.  
"You were crying out. In your sleep," Rory explained.  
Alarm bells immediately started going off in the Doctor's head.  
"Um. What was I saying?" He asked.  
"You were saying our names, telling us not to leave you," Amy cut in, "Why?"  
"Just a bad dream," the Doctor murmured.  
"Doctor," Rory cut in, "I don't know if you're telling us everything or not, but- we won't leave you. At least not for good."  
With that, he dragged Amy back to their bedroom, leaving the Doctor to his thoughts.  
They missed the smile that slowly spread over the Doctor's face.  
They missed the way his eyes lit up with hope, for the first time in a long time.  
But as they set out later on, they didn't miss his grateful eyes and the slight spring in his step.  
Because for the first time in a long time, he felt he was home.


End file.
